Monday, January 25, 2010

I was going to write some technical documentation, but I guess I got sidetracked

Melllvar and the Red Shirts

An Unauthorized Star Trek Adventure Tale

“Captain, I’m picking up a distress call.” Uhuru looked up from her console, concern on her face. “It’s coming from the caves inside that planet.”

Captain James Tiberius Kirk was watching the planet’s horizon on the view screen. There, he thought, an undiscovered world, even now, some, ten years, after its, discovery. He knew danger lay ahead. “We’re going to need a team of men in red shirts. Spock, Bones, come with me. We’re beaming down.”

Meanwhile, thousands of miles below the planet's surface, and just below the opposite surface, countless cave tunnels twisted and turned, intersected, circled back and dead ended, as tunnels are wont to do. But in one place, they intersected. Sparkly lights twirled and sparkled as seven humanoid figures materialized into the away team. Spock, Bones, Captain Kirk, and four ensigns wearing red shirts.

“We better split up.” Kirk surveyed the tunnels. “You in the red shirt, you go down that tunnel.”

“Yes sir, captain!” He was new.

“You, in the other red shirt, go down the next tunnel.”

“Do I have to? I mean, yes sir.”

The two remaining ensigns looked at each other nervously. Kirk turned to them and prepared to assign the most important mission of all.

“Now listen carefully. There’s a third tunnel. Right there. You’ve received the best training Star Fleet Community College has to offer, you have matching red shirts, I think you know what to do. Spock, Bones, and I will stay here and do some tricorder stuff. Bleep bleep bloop.”

Down in one of a thousand caves, dark, silent, forbidding, two flashlight beams appeared around a corner and two men, strangers to this underground world, crept forward in bright red shirts. One of them spoke.

“Join Star Fleet my old man said, see the galaxy he said. What I don’t get is how --Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”



The ensign had disappeared. His companion spun his flashlight around, down to a three foot wide hole in the floor.

“That wasn’t there a second ago!” He watched in horror as the hole slowly began to vanish. Rock materialized where the hole was, there was solid floor again. A second later solid granite began to materialize within the entire tunnel where the last remaining ensign was standing in his red shirt. The tunnel was filled, crushing him. A muffled and very short scream could be heard coming from somewhere inside the solid rock.

From where Bones was standing, the screams were much louder.

“Dammit Jim, we’ve lost another away team! And what’s that mysterious green glow?”

A light grew from the tunnel ahead, and from within that tunnel came a glowing cloud, all cloudy and glowing.

Bones turned to the Vulcan, “Well my fine green-blooded friend, what does your logic say now?”

“Logically, Doctor McCoy, this is a being of pure energy.”

“I am Melllvar," the energy being said in a cave-filling voice, "and I am your biggest fan!”

Kirk considered for a moment before asking, “Melllvar, what do you want from us?”

Melllvar’s glowing cloud-like energy field rose to the ceiling. They could see he was holding something. “I want you to read this fan script I wrote.”

Spock, being wise and diplomatic and logical too said, “Oh, we don’t read scripts. You’ll have to send that to the agency.”

Melllvar's green energy field glowed brighter. “I won’t!”

Kirk stepped forward, “But you must. Union rules, you know. Don’t worry, it’s just a formality.”

Melllvar laughed the laugh that only a being of pure energy who built caves with his mind could laugh, and the entire crew was overcome by the creepy willies, even those in orbit aboard the Star Ship Enterprise.

“You fools! You don’t have to read my script, because you are already in it! Don’t you see? I am all powerful in this world which I created with my mind and I can--”

“Wait hold on.”

“My mom’s calling me. But I’ll be back!!!”

The End... ?